Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Sixty-Nine

1. These weird dream scenes. No rest.

2. I remember my flashlight this time.

3. Voice memos on the morning drive.

4. She tells me that we can recreate the Yung Lean video. I promise her it will go viral. It would be so funny.

5. A parent practice?

6. Finally, the announcement.

7. We’re just going to pretend like he didn’t make this mistake. I giggle to myself.

8. He says it’s too early to lose my voice. I need it for basketball.

9. Where has this team been all season?

10. I’m going to have to tell her that I still haven’t had the conversation yet.

Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Sixty-Eight

1. Little snippets of dreams. Driving north through Milwaukee, only to realize we should have been heading south to Los Angeles. Work conversations.

2. I don’t think I’m sleeping well without my mouthguard. Where in the world is it?

3. It’s so dark, I have to use the flashlight on my phone to see the road.

4. The Spotify DJ begins the set with “Chihiro,” and I turn it up. This is the only song that, when it comes on, you turn it up.

5. Yes, she’s right. We live in a beautiful place. Mornings are like walking through a series of paintings. Some people’s commute is through the industrial streets of Milwaukee. We have mountains and hot air balloons.

6. He asks me if I’m okay. Yes. Are you really? Yes.

7. Witches on retainer.

8. Last week before I get a little break.

9. It’s like there’s no room for truth.

10. All that work, and now I finally have a copy in my hands. Not ready yet, but so close.

Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Sixty-Seven

1. A little bit of morning light.

2. Warm, orangey glow in the living room. I tell her I know it’s going to be hot based on the color of the light.

3. Man, I need another massage. Or a float. Or both.

4. Hank Hill and his complicated relationship with his father and son.

5. Trying not to think of how many hours of the day are left, and instead just live them.

6. Closet clean-out.

7. Headache nap.

8. On the other side of the card, the word “Truth.”

9. Is it the contacts? Is it just my eyes? A combination of both?

10. 28 days.

Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Sixty-Six

1. Saturday. I need more sleep.

2. Already so warm.

3. I pick the community table and set out the packets. A cup of half-caff-half-decaf and a bacon-and-cheddar scone.

4. He’s excited. She’s excited. I’m excited. We’re all excited, and that means it’s going to be another good season. Twenty-nine days.

5. Prepared, selfless, joyful.

6. This is the most I’ve seen him all week. I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed him. He’s here, but he’s not here.

7. Outlining the fake case I need to create. I choose Hank Hill. Surely, there’s enough to work with here.

8. They’re off the menu, but she says she’ll make them for me anyway. Sweating while drinking rosé and eating salad. Even in the shade, there’s not much respite.

9. Nap.

10. What in the what?

Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Sixty-Five

1. Consistency.

2. Watching the color of the morning.

3. I round the curve, and that last bit of fog is thinning, and the sunrise is breaking through the trees, and it looks like a dream. Or like a Thomas Cole painting.

4. He’s a no-show again, and that means I need to find another option.

5. Oooops.

6. I leave the meeting less angry than I thought I would be, which adds to my good mood when I meet him for lunch. Pulled mozzarella and insalata de pollo. A lemonade. It’s been too long.

7. I stop in the olive oil shop to buy oil and vinegar for my lunch salads—and to talk about the kid. A dad walks in, overhears me talking about my basketball team, and says I need to convince his daughter to play. I walk through the screen door, feeling full of gratitude.

8. This isn't anything I ever dreamed of for myself, but I love so much of it.

9. I tell him that all of my meetings went so well today. Just great, really.

10. Really can’t beat these football sunsets.

Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Sixty-Four

1. October 1.

2. Core and very slow walk. Reminding myself that the only way to get better is to actually rest.

3. The light!

4. I stop to get a salad. I start to walk up and see a line of people. Well, it’s Thursday, and it’s after 8:30 in the morning. I turn around and decide there’s no time to wait.

5. Better remember to take off the pink Crocs.

6. Practice just enough to leave them wanting more. Pockets of motivation. Start from where they are. Don’t obsess over the gap. Make commitments instead of goals. Process. How do we create an environment where the game teaches the game?

7. He really hates this idea.

8. I didn’t think they would tell us the name. But they have. And we have a timeframe, and I don’t know if I feel better or worse.

9. Now that it’s Thursday, it feels like Wednesday.

10. Ugh.

Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Sixty-Three

1. Rest day.

2. I miss this kind of open morning time when I used to start my days with ease.

3. More sushi. Keep it light.

4. Down an amigo today.

5. Not seeing what you want, but hoping it comes at some point.

6. Actually, this is what I enjoy doing the most.

7. His excitement about it all makes me excited too.

8. The problem is, it doesn’t hurt when I’m doing it. It’s only after.

9. Another bowl of ice cream — but a smaller one.

10. Tomorrow is already October.

Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Sixty-Two

1. I’m going to get out of bed on time today.

2. If the sale of the store means a better-functioning POS, then I’m here for that, too.

3. More pink?

4. Building heat.

5. A little bit of pleasure from three women telling a man that it’s incredibly offensive to tell a woman to smile more.

6. One dead bird. Two malfunctioning computer screens.

7. I thought I was coming as a spectator, but here I am behind the scorer’s table, doing the books for the middle school game. The ref asks me if I’m still coaching basketball. Yes, of course. He tells me I’m going to have a good group of players coming in next year.

8. I’ve seen these faces before.

9. Peanut Butter Campfire.

10. Tongue still feels burnt.

Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Sixty-One

1. Headache.

2. I don’t wanna. But I know I’ll regret it if I don’t.

3. “I train like I’ve never won. And I compete like I’ve never lost.” - Eileen Gu

4. OMG. It’s after 8 a.m., and I’m still not in the shower yet.

5. She says that this is the latest I’ve ever shown up to work. But I had a headache. I almost didn’t want to come at all.

6. Lunchtime is the best time.

7. I don’t even know what to say.

8. But you’re lying.

9. Dinner in the Grove. 2017 J. Schram Rosé; 2011 J. Schram Rosé; 2017 J. Schram Blancs; 2007 J. Schram, Late Disgorged; 2017 J. Schram Noirs; 2004 Schram Reserve, Late Disgorged; 2023 J. Davies Estate, Cabernet Sauvignon, Diamond Mountain; 2007 J. Davies Estate, Cabernet Sauvignon, Diamond Mountain; 2022 J. Davies Estate “Jaime”, Cabernet Sauvignon, Diamond Mountain; 2012 J. Davies Estate “Jaime”, Cabernet Sauvignon, Diamond Mountain

10. I should skip the chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Sixty

1. A runny nose?!

2. I bet someone in the stadium breathed on me.

3. Those two bird body prints in the window.

4. Bone broth for sipping.

5. I open up my palms, tell him he’s holding these gifts, and that he just needs to take them.

6. Back to bed for a nap, trying to sleep this cold away.

7. Wishing for a second Saturday. Reminding myself that I have some time away coming soon; save the PTO for another day.

8. Will they realize we didn’t get the groceries today?

9. Are we shocked? Yes. And no.

10. Halloween Baking Championship.

Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Fifty-Nine

1. 6:48. I’ll take it.

2. No sun yet. A little bit of coffee.

3. Nothing but wisdom.

4. “Connected, prepared, joyful.” “We should never know who your best friend is.”

5. “I’ll always call her ‘coach’”.

6. It’s not hot, but this sun. I am never dressed right for these games.

7. “Keep him in the cage.”

8. I should have made her go to the dance anyway.

9. The best $30 I’ve ever spent.

10. “Causation flows in both directions.” For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Fifty-Eight

1. Streaky clouds and a pink morning sky.

2. I’m not sure what I thought we’d be doing, but it wasn’t exactly this.

3. Snipping grapes from the vine. Learning the difference between dimpled fruit and raisined fruit.

4. Homecoming parade. Familiar faces. Very excited kids getting the trucks to honk their horns.

5. Another win.

6. Full moon rising.

7. I’ve never made so much hot chocolate in my life.

8. The same question over and over again, and there is no response I want to give—or can give without you reading the truth all over my face.

9. No one tells me anything.

10. At this time of night, it’s only the worst of the worst that comes to mind.

Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Fifty-Six

1. Rest day. Rest day!

2. Waiting to see if he gets up so I can get in the shower.

3. Cup o’ noodles really hitting the spot, even in 80-something degrees.

4. Oh no. I watch him lift the photographer over the fence. Now I have to say something.

5. I knew I shouldn’t have worn this sweater.

6. He’s being so weird.

7. Schramsberg. Shrimp cocktail. Crunch Squash. Little Gem salad. Massican Annia for dessert.

8. I don’t usually yell at people from the car, but I can with her.

9. Should I eat one of those burgers?

10. Falling asleep while writing sentences.

Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Fifty-Five

1. No legs.

2. Don’t forget your gratitude.

3. Why is she always walking in the middle of the street?

4. I open the umbrella and find a slice of sun on the bench. Perfect, perfect weather.

5. What time is it?

6. No! Don’t put it in Chat.

7. She tells me that she’s so lucky because she loves her job. She really loves her job.

8. Whenever they use my first name, it always throws me off.

9. She says that this is so nice. That it has such a community feel. That it’s so sweet that the parents do this for the kids.

10. Acquisition vs. Accessibility. Knowing what to do vs. being able to do it when it matters most.

Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Fifty-Four

1. The beginning of the end. No light during the morning walk.

2. A slice of sprouted grain bread and a very thin layer of dry almond butter.

3. The color of mulled wine.

4. A headache day.

5. The cruelty. What a dark heart.

6. He calls us bright lights. No, you are.

7. “…it’s how other people feel when you do what you do…”

8. I want a cup o’ noodles.

9. Why does it have to be so hard?

10. No dreams tonight, please.

Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Fifty-Three

1. Nooooo. The contact is torn. Headache.

2. That time of year when I’m lying on my back doing a spinal twist and I see just how dirty the windows are, but I know that winter is coming, so there’s no point in getting them washed now.

3. Maybe a solution?

4. I want so many things. Many are competing. This is an energetic drain.

5. This show is crazy.

6. I take him to the gym. Solo work today because he knows he doesn’t want to go all out with the adults.

7. I forget that he can be funny at times.

8. The ice cream didn’t come.

9. Flow.

10. Just a few more weeks.

Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Fifty

1. A slice of sprouted grain toast and a slab of butter.

2. The smell of football laundry.

3. They saw David Webber’s mom.

4. The last two homework assignments for the week. Then more reading tomorrow.

5. “No shenanigans.” He tells me he’s too smart to do dumb things. I know that he’s right.

6. Another headache.

7. As we head to the store for the pick-up order, I realize that no one is actually going to be home for dinner. It’s just the two of us.

8. The three-year-old is playing with a butter knife, clanking it against the table. She’s got one hand in her hair. I can tell that she’s done with the day.

9. Steak. Asparagus. Sub garlic parmesan fries for scalloped potatoes. Meyer Lemon Ice Box Pie. One glass of Schramsberg Blanc de Blancs. 2019 Schrader RBS To Kalon Cabernet. Decaf coffee.

10. Thank goodness for a third day. Thinking about adding a fourth.

Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Forty-Nine

1. TGIF.

2. Staring up at that ceiling after savasana. Sunlight pouring through the windows.

3. Why am I wearing heels today?

4. Yes. It’s always a yes.

5. No, I understand. I’m just confused about the “why.”

6. Windows down and Linkin Park up. Blue skies. The perfect weather for playing golf, he says. He’s got his arm out of the window, feeling the wind. It’s 3-something in the afternoon, and I think about how amazing it is to have a little bit more of this time. And this is why I want something to change. Because I want more moments like these.

7. Why have I never been here before?

8. A margarita, two Aperol Spritzes, and Dave Webber.

9. Having to dip early because you have to finish your quiz. And you’ve already had a margarita and two Aperol Spritzes.

10. I’ve got the best friends.

Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Forty-Eight

1. Feeling heavy-footed.

2. It’s 8:30, and I’m still in the bathroom. She asks me why I keep leaving the house so late. I tell her that I think it’s because that’s just how badly I don’t want to leave my house.

3. Constant headache.

4. I eat all of the food so it must not be that bad. And it’s even cold. It could be the 2 miles from this morning.

5. She will be missed.

6. We set out for our walk and look out into the distance. It looks like it’s raining over there, but we carry on.

7. A motorcyclist on the side of the road. He looks like he’s taking a break. I watch him step toward the edge and stoop down to pick something up off the ground. It looks like a picture frame.

8. The elusive third set.

9. Win!

10. 59 days.

Ten.Two Thousand, Seven Hundred & Forty-Seven

1. Rest day.

2. I start to walk out the front door and realize the deck is wet. Wait. They did say something about rain.

3. “Alignment meaning: do my thoughts, words, and actions match?”

4. I think she’s crying. I almost stop to ask if she’s okay, but she’s actively trying to hide her face and look away. I tell myself that if I come back through and she still looks the same, I’ll ask her if she’s okay.

5. A light lunch.

6. “What happened to your dear friend?” Insert gut-busting laughter.

7. I tell the family chat that I’m trying to hurry up and finish my homework so that I can go to the game, too.

8. At first, I think she doesn’t care if I come, but then she says I can miss Back-to-School Night because I’ve already done it enough. Either she wants me at the game, or she doesn’t want me to talk to her teachers. I’m hoping it’s the former.

9. Look at all that green. Almost done.

10. Snoring.